Wait For Me

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We said we'd walk together baby come what may
That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we're walking a hand should slip free
I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind

Jim drifted slowly out of sleep to the gentle strains of music from the living room below. He smiled as he heard Blair moving around. The only thing better than waking to the sounds the other man made as he readied for the day was waking to his lover beside him. Stretching lazily, he idly tried to identify the music, but shrugged as the stereo was flipped off.

Turning over, the Sentinel swung his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting up. "Yeah, Sandburg?" he answered the soft call.

Blair's head appeared as the grad student climbed the stairs. Jim felt his heart leap at the smile that was aimed at him.

"'Fraid you have to get up, big guy," Blair said. "I've made breakfast, but I'm going to have to run to get this stack of papers in before I meet you at the station."

Reaching out a long arm, Jim pulled the other man to him. Blair came willingly, leaning into Jim's grasp as the cop wrapped him in a loose embrace. Tilting his head up, Jim met his lover's eyes. "I'm already up, Sandburg," he said softly.

Blair gasped as he felt the evidence of Jim's arousal pushing against him as Jim pulled him down to the bed. Jim chuckled into the open mouth as he kissed Blair hungrily, the chuckle fading as he explored the warm depths. Blair moaned as the kiss continued, but shook his head sadly as Jim lifted his head away.

Sighing, the Sentinel released his hold, watching as Blair stood slowly. "Tonight?"

He stepped away from the bed, stopping at the top of the stairs as Jim sat up again. "Lunch with Simon today?"

Jim nodded, wishing Blair's voice wasn't so anxious. "Yeah, Chief. I - we - have to tell him. And the sooner the better now that we've decided."

Blair's eyes flickered. "I know. It's just... I have to be at Rainier this afternoon. And if he takes it badly..."

Blair grinned mischievously as he started down the stairs. "A fate worse than death, Ellison."

Jim rose, padding down the stairs in Blair's wake. The anthropologist watched appreciatively as he grabbed his jacket and keys. "Hey, Jim?"

"I picked a song. You know, for... for us. Listen to it when you get home tonight, okay? I have it queued up."

"I want to know how you feel about it, but I don't think the station is the place to discuss it, okay? Promise me, you'll listen to it tonight?"

Jim nodded, not knowing why it was important to Blair that he wait, but not caring either. "Sure thing, Chief. See you soon."

Jim hurried through his shower, eating the muffin and fruit that Blair had left for him on the way to the station. There was nothing really vital in his case-load right now. But the sooner he got there, the sooner he'd see Blair again.

Pulling into the garage, he sighed silently as he realized that his partner's car wasn't there yet. Blair must have gotten hung up at the U, he thought. Well, that gave him the time he needed to invite Simon to lunch. Taking the elevator up to the bullpen, he stepped off into the quiet room. Obviously no one else was all that busy either. It could stay that way. It really could.

Swinging his jacket off at his desk, Jim glanced over the few messages that had come in since last night, then shrugged and put them back on the desk. Nothing that couldn't wait. Moving to Simon's office, he tapped on the door.

"Morning, sir," Jim poured himself a cup of coffee, ignoring his boss' raised eyebrow. Settling in a chair, he looked over at Simon. "What's planned for today?"

Simon shook his head. "A refresher course on how to treat your Captain," he snorted. "Mind telling me why you helped yourself to my Jamaican Blue Mountain without being asked?"

"It ought to. Why are you in here, Jim? Don't you have anything better to do than harass me? And where's the kid?"

"He had to stop by Rainier. He'll be here soon. And no, sir, I have no other goal in life than to harass you. In fact, I enjoy it so much I thought I'd ask you to go to lunch with us just so I can harass you some more."

Jim met his friend's eyes squarely. "Nothing, Simon. But Blair and I have something to tell you, and we don't think the station is the place for it."

Simon studied him for a moment, then nodded. "Is this something I want to know?"

Jim turned his head to smile at Blair as the grad student bounced through the office door. He'd known Blair was there, but from Simon's jump as Blair spoke, it was clear the other man hadn't. Stifling his grin, he watched as Simon glared at Blair, who smiled back sunnily.

"What? It'll have meat for the two of you, and word is they have a killer salad."

Simon sighed heavily. "The two of you..." His voice cut off as his phone rang and he picked it up. Jim turned his hearing up as the captain swore into the receiver, but heard only the disconnection. Simon's face was grey as he looked up at the other two men.

"What is it?" Blair's voice was quick with concern, and he moved closer to the black man. Jim shook his head as Simon spoke again.

"Kids with guns. They've taken a classroom over. Shot the teacher and at least five students."

"Right." Jim watched as his friend pulled the Captain's mask over the father's concern. "Let's move, people."

Grim purpose prevailed outside the neat brick building that hid the pain and death inside it so very well. Busloads of weeping students had been taken away, the classrooms emptied except for one. In that one, Jim could hear quiet sobs, angry curses, and faltering heartbeats amid the strong, racing ones. He smiled slightly as he met Simon's anxious eyes. "He's okay, Simon. Madder than hell, in fact."

Jim nodded. "He's doing a great job of keeping his temper too. Good thing. Those gunmen aren't too stable."

"Kids with guns that have already killed at least one person, Sandburg. Maybe more." Jim's eyes were hard as he looked at Blair. "How much slack do you want me to give them?"

Blair looked away, shaking his head. "I don't know," he said softly, anguish in his voice.

"I know, Chief." Jim ached as he watched Blair wrap his arms around himself. "We get them out, we find out what triggered this, and maybe we can help them. But right now..."

"Right now the important thing is to keep them from killing anyone else." Blair nodded, his eyes distant. "I know, Jim."

Jim took a deep breath, wishing he could help his Guide through this. Wishing he could help himself through it, really. There was something so sick about this, that children were murdering children. He let the breath out helplessly, closing his eyes briefly.

Jim shrugged. "Makes no sense, sir. But they're coming out. They've left the classroom, and are making their way down the hall. Talking about the library. I guess they're passing it?"

Jim listened closely, finally shaking his head. "I don't think so, Simon. Three heartbeats, three voices."

"Okay." Simon moved away, letting the other cops know what was going on. Jim wondered briefly how he would explain the knowledge, then dismissed it. Simon would figure it out. Keeping half his attention on the three teenage boys moving through the school, he moved closer to Blair.

"I'm okay, Jim." The eyes Blair turned up to him were sad, but clear. "It just..." He shrugged.

Jim nodded. "Yeah. Me too. But they're coming out now, so hopefully it's all over."

Focusing on Blair, he lost track of the shooters. He wanted desperately to reach out and pull Blair to him, to comfort his lover, but he didn't dare. There was so much wrong with their world, he thought savagely. Why couldn't this be right?

Suddenly Blair's eyes widened and Jim felt his Guide's hands pushing him roughly aside. His hearing snapped back into focus just in time to hear the bullet slip down the rifled barrel and sing through the air. Horrified eyes watched blood geyser from Blair's abdomen as the bullet ripped into him, the thud sickening as Jim heard it impact.

Dimly he was aware of bullets flying toward the three teens, the shouts and orders of the SWAT team meaning nothing to him as he supported Blair's weight, the familiar form oddly limp in his hands. Time stretched as he lowered his lover to the pavement, hands moving in slow motion to stanch the spurting blood.

Hands entered his field of vision, unfamiliar but sure in their movements. Jim batted them away, but relented as they returned with padding to place over the wound. The paramedic beside him swore as the cloth turned red within seconds.

Simon's voice was calm. Jim hated him for it, then recognized the tension underneath. Looking up at his Captain, Jim pressed harder as he nodded in agreement. Working around him, the paramedics slid a stretcher under Blair, then quickly lifted him into the waiting ambulance. Jim slid in with him, doing his best to stay out of the way of the frantically working men. Part of his mind wondered at how clearly he seemed to be thinking. Then his eyes touched upon Blair's pale face and he gasped.

"Chief?" The voice rasped on his ears, and he flinched at the sound. "Oh, god, Chief!"

He crouched by Blair's side, keeping pressure on the terrible wound, his eyes locked on his lover's closed eyes, as the ambulance sped along the streets to Cascade General. He would never remember that ride, his only glimpses of it coming in nightmares.

The Sentinel lifted his head at Simon's approach, looking up at him listlessly, most of his attention locked on the surgery room where a team of trauma specialists (he knew this because it had been carefully explained to him just before he'd been thrown out of the room) struggled to repair Blair Sandburg's shredded liver. They'd already removed his spleen and one kidney, damaged beyond repair by the explosive round. He'd gotten five units of blood before surgery and was now getting the third during. His heart was strong. Jim listened desperately to that sound, using it to keep from going insane at the descriptions of the destruction within Blair.

Simon's voice was gentle, but insistent, and Jim finally drew back some of his attention.

"Alive," Jim said hoarsely. "Barely. They don't think he'll make it through surgery, Simon."

The two men lapsed into silence. Jim listened, praying with everything inside him to whatever might hear him, to the battle for Blair's life. Distantly, he was aware of Simon's presence beside him, and it was to Simon he turned when the battle ended.

Simon met his eyes worriedly, the fear fading as he saw the incredulous joy in Jim's face. "He made it, Simon. He's coming out of surgery now."

Simon's breath was ragged as he stared at Jim, a smile breaking across his face as the Sentinel nodded confirmation. Together the two men turned toward the door to the waiting room just as the surgeon walked through it.

"Detective Ellison." The man smiled tiredly. "He's in recovery right now. We managed to save almost half of the liver, and with that and a functioning kidney, he should do just fine. We had to remove the other kidney and his spleen. He's had multiple units of blood given, and he'll probably get at least one more. But, barring any complications, your partner's going to live."

His smile widened at Jim's stammer of thanks. "You did as much to save his life as we did, I hear. If you hadn't been right there to get pressure on that wound, he'd have bled to death within five minutes."

"Not for an hour, at least. And he won't be awake for longer than that." The doctor paused, eyes compassionate. "Can I make a suggestion, detective? Get cleaned up. His blood's probably not the first thing he's going to want to see."

For the first time, Jim became aware of the dried blood caked in his clothing, on his face and hands, in his hair. His nose wrinkled slightly as the odor hit him. Staggering slightly, he was grateful to Simon as the other cop answered the doctor, assuring him that he would take care of it. The surgeon left, telling the two men that he was going to check on Blair.

Jim headed toward the men's room, intending to wash up, only to be brought up short by Simon's voice.

"Go home. Shower, change your clothes, eat something." Simon sighed as Jim looked at him stubbornly. "Look. You won't go home for days. I know that. So get clean, get some food inside you, and get clothes on that aren't soaked in Blair's blood! That's an order, detective."

"I'll stay with him, Jim. If they let him have visitors before you get back, I'll be right there. I promise. But he needs you when he's awake, Jim. Not right now. Go. Your truck's in the lot."

"Go!" Simon's voice softened. "Jim. He'd want you to take care of yourself. Right?"

Reluctantly, Jim nodded. Catching the tossed keys, he stepped into the elevator, vowing to be back as soon as he could.

Getting out of the shower, the detective had to admit that he felt better. Throwing on the clothes he'd grabbed, he went into the kitchen and threw together a sandwich. As he ate it in huge bites, his eyes wandered and hit the stereo, the pause light blinking at him. A half-unconscious urge rose in him as he remembered his promise to listen to the song Blair had picked out, and he walked over to the machine and hit play.

He smiled as the song ended. Oh, yeah. Blair could pick 'em. They could talk about it when Blair woke up. Stuffing the last of his sandwich into his mouth, he grabbed the keys from the basket.

Jim stepped out of the truck, his head going up as he automatically extended his hearing to find Blair's heartbeat. It's comforting rhythm sounding in his ears, he smiled slightly as he remembered Simon, asking incredulously how he could pick out Blair's heartbeat from anyone else's. He'd just grinned, not bothering to mention the tiny, distinctive click as one of the valves closed just a hair abnormally. He'd mentioned it to Blair, asking if it should be checked, but his Guide had just laughed.

"That's been there forever, man! No problem. But it's way cool that you can hear it."

He smiled wider as he entered the hospital and got into an elevator. Blair's heart was faster now, as if he was waking up.

Suddenly it faltered, picking up only to falter again. Disbelieving, the Sentinel stood, trapped in the rising elevator, as he heard his Guide's heart stop. He listened despairingly as doctors and nurses rushed in, trying futilely to restart the still organ. Pounding at the elevator door as it came to a stop, he stumbled off the car toward Blair's room, reaching it just as the time of death was called.

Pushing his way into the crowded room, he ignored the nurses trying to hold him back until the head surgeon told them to stop. Reaching Blair's side, he looked at the still form for a minute. "No."

The doctor hesitated, looking over at Blair's body. Simon raised his voice. "Can you do anything here?" At the head shake, he went on. "Then can you at least give them some time?"

Jim ignored the people leaving as he sat down beside Blair, taking his hand tenderly. The fingers lay still and limp, cool to the touch. He ached for the warm strength they had always held.

Simon stood guard just inside the door, tears running down his face as he watched. Jim knew he was there, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. He slid down to lie alongside Blair, his hand laid along the face he so loved.

"I want that river, Chief. I want that valley. You promised me oak trees, Blair. You promised me tonight. Blair... I love you, Blair. I love you."

He murmured endlessly into the hair that covered his face, soaking up his tears. He told Blair all he'd wanted to say, all the things he'd never been able to say but that Blair had heard anyway. He whispered of their lives together, of how they would be together forever. He lay beside Blair until Blair's body cooled, telling him over and over again that he loved him. And then he rose, his face cold and pale, and left the hospital room behind him.

The last sad, sweet notes faded as the song ended. Simon stood beside Jim as the grave was filled. Only when the ground lay mounded did Jim speak.

Simon swallowed, the absolute lack of emotion in Jim's voice tearing at him. Jim looked over at him.

Simon couldn't meet the desolation that lay in Jim's eyes for long, but he tried. Finally, he looked away, his voice husky with unshed tears. "I would have been honored to."

Jim nodded, glancing at the grave one last time before turning away. Simon looked at the headstone briefly, then at Jim as he heard the whispered words.

Meeting Jim's eyes, Simon asked a silent question, relieved by the answering headshake. Looking back to the headstone, he read the inscription.

The white haired woman rose stiffly from the ground, using her cane with reluctance. A full lotus was difficult for her these days, but for Blair, she would accept the pain. She blew a kiss to her boy, then turned her attention to the other grave, the newer one, the one that held her second son.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here," she whispered, seeing the sparse grass, barely established on the unsettled mound. Her eyes rested on the gravestone, the sharp edges of the carving so like the older, slightly softer one beside it. She smiled slightly. Knowing Jim, he'd had them both made at the same time.

She studied the panther, forever bounding toward the running wolf that had waited for it for so long. Tracing the words, she blinked back tears.