Into Their Hands

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Blair closed the door behind the last child, his smile at the sight of the tiny princess fading as he did. Flicking a glance at his watch, he turned the light out. Trick or treat was over. Sliding a hand into his jean pocket, his eyes turned bleak as he felt the crumpled paper it held. Turning, he headed for his room.

Jim's quiet voice caused a brief hesitation. Blair looked over at his partner, then sighed. "Not now, Jim."

"I said not now!" Blair flinched at the anger his own voice held. "Sorry, big guy. I just need some time, okay?"

"Yeah." The Sentinel's voice was quiet. "I'll just take a shower. Are you going to want dinner?"

Blair ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, maybe. Not for an hour or two, though."

Catching the concern in the cop's voice, Blair managed a brief smile. "Call for something after your shower, then. Something I can reheat." At Jim's nod, he smiled again, then headed into his room. Closing the door, he pulled the letter from his pocket, glancing at the sheet before tossing it onto his bed. He didn't need to read it again.

Anger and grief rose up in him, choking and burning. It had been senseless, an accident caused by drugs and alcohol. And it had left a bright young man dead. Alec Somers hadn't deserved to be killed by a drunk driver. The teen had so much promise, and all of it had been taken.

It made sense, Blair supposed, that he would hear about Alec's death on this day. This was Halloween, All Hallow's Eve, Samhain. This was the day when the dead walked closest to the living, the day to bid farewell to those lost in the past year, and to remember them with joy. He laughed bitterly. What joy was there in a life cut short?

But he would honor Alec's memory. In a manner older than time, Blair would celebrate the life of Alec Somers, and hope that in that celebration, he could lose the sick hatred he felt for the man whose drunken acts had taken that life.

Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply, reaching a point of balance. Extending his awareness, he grounded himself, anchoring roots reaching deeply into the Earth. His eyes opened slowly, and he moved forward gracefully, shedding his clothes as he moved. Standing naked in the center of the room, he reached for the bowl of water he'd left on his desk, lowering his hands into the cool depths.

He'd bathed earlier, sea salt for purity in the water. Rosemary added purification powers, as well as symbolizing remembrance. Other herbs had enhanced the cleansing power of the ritual bath, and washing his hands now would renew that cleansing.

Raising his dripping hands from the bowl, he shook them, scattering droplets around the room. As he did, he imaged them as a tidal wave, carrying away the darkness and unhappiness of the world. This was to become a sacred space, and dark had no welcome here.

Lighting a candle, he used the burning flame to ignite sweet incense. The smoke rose slowly, the odor of sandalwood filling the room, conferring protection and healing to the scented air. Calling the quarters, Blair felt the sudden charge that meant the Guardians had come. Smiling sadly, he remembered talking to Alec about that. The teen had been skeptical, pointing out that the spiritual presence could not be demonstrated. Blair had smiled and said only that he knew when they were there.

Sinking to sit cross legged on the floor, he bowed his head, closing his eyes. Falling deeper into a meditative state, Blair raised his voice, chanting softly. He pictured the boy he'd known, the young man Alec had become. Resolutely he turned away from images of the man he could have been, focusing instead on the excitement in the voice when Blair had last spoken to him, the plans and dreams that had been fulfilled. Sadness filling him, he remembered, he cherished. And then, opening his eyes, he held his hands out, palms upward. The forms of the God and Goddess were visible to him, their faces loving as they reached out to him.

Intangible hands touched his own, cradling them. Blair drew a deep breath and turned his hands over, allowing the memories of Alec's life to fall from his grip. As they entered the hands below his own, he felt a peace entering him in return. The love that offered that peace accepted his grief, taking the anger and turning it into acceptance. Grief would still be there, but the anger that would taint every thought had been removed.

Blair smiled, the joy he'd thought impossible filling him. Alec's killer would still pay the price for what he'd done, but now Blair would not pay that price as well. He breathed a thank you as the Lord and Lady left, then thanked the Guardians as well. Standing, he stretched, only then realizing that he'd been seated for over two hours. Shrugging, he snuffed the candles and the incense.

Grabbing his robe, he headed out into the living room and toward the calling shower. Jim looked up from the couch.

Blair grinned, causing an answering smile on the Sentinel's surprised face. "No, Jim, man, it's cool. It still upsets me, you know? But it's out of my hands."